In case you didn’t know this about me, I live for football season. It doesn’t matter the brand, high school, college, pro…I love them all. I know football. I breathe football. So this season.. fall, autumn, football season, whatever you wish to call it, is my FAVORITE. This weekend, I decided to try once again to see if the kids were ready to take the plunge into becoming football fanatics.
Friday night we went to the high school football game at the stadium close to our house. We went with my Mom and Dad. It was a riot. I was most worried about Bug because Bear, being a boy, at least has an interest in understanding sports. (No worries, though, I’ve got him on the football fast track!) Bug, as expected, started whining on the way INTO the stadium. She was concerned about the gum in her mouth (which she begged for after dinner…only 15 minutes prior). How ever could she eat the popcorn she’d just been given with this gum in her mouth? So she tried to hand me her chewed gum. I said NO WAY was I taking that, she could throw it away once we got in the stadium. And the tear started flowing, “but Grandpa says I can’t take this popcorn in.” So I asked her to hand me the popcorn bag and as she handed it over, I MAY have said, “I’ll eat the popcorn, you keep that gum.” The water works opened up, as I tore off a small piece of the bag for her to throw her gum in so I could hold it until we got to the stadium. She had the popcorn and I had the gum…and we it wasn’t even kickoff. SPECTACULAR.
I was , thus, prepared for Bug to start complaining about 15 minutes after we sat down. Which, of course, she did because she was thirsty and hungry and NEEDED candy. I side stepped all of that by pointing her in the direction of the scoreboard and postponing any purchases until the second quarter. Then the yelling began. Not by my kids, but by the passionate guy behind us. “Go D”…”Come on D, get ‘im“. And a very interesting things happens, Bug asks questions, about THE GAME.
Bug: “Why does he keep saying “Go D”?
Me: “Because our team is on defense. See the guys in white down there are trying to get to this big rectangle down here and our team (in red) is trying to stop them. We are defense.”
Bug: “Can I yell, Go D”
Bug: “Tell me when”
Me: “Well, now we’re offense. So we’re trying to get the ball way down there to that rectangle.”
Bug: “Can I yell, Go O, then?”
Me: “Well, we don’t really say that, but you can yell ‘Go Team’ or ‘Go Patriots’ or just ‘Go’”
Bug: “Why don’t we say Go O?”
Me: “It’s a good question, but I can only assume it’s because we’d really sound like we’re stuttering.”
Bug: “Ok <
Me: “Well, dear we’re on defense again, now.”
At this point, Bug is still interested, but a little frustrated in how quickly things keep changing. (Frankly, the rapid fire of turnovers had the fans a little concerned, as well.) So, Bear in the way only a too-smart for his own good big brother can do, simplified the situation for Bug…
Bear: “When the big fat guys run off the field and the skinny white guys come on the field that’s the offense. When it’s the other way around, that’s defense.”
Everyone sitting within earshot: <
Me: (finally able to speak) “I guess that Football for Dummies book really paid off”
Not too long after that, they asked to go stand down by the railing near the field with all the other kids. I let them go. They had a great time. Often I saw Bear pointing out on to the field explaining things to his sister. I can only hope it had to do with the game and was in some way shape or form a little more PC than his earlier attempts. They didn’t fight, they got along great and they watched college football for a short while on Saturday and the NFL on Sunday with me. Overall, it was a hugely successful weekend. We do have to work on a deeper understanding of game, CLEARLY, but eventually they may take after me. I don’t know that Bug will ever have 2.5 fantasy football teams and a weekly wager on select games, but she may be able to hold her own when she stumbles on a cute boy in college. That’s really all I can ask.